Negotiable Affection
by AristoKitty
Summary: Loki needs to prove to Odin that his view of Midgardians has changed. What faster way to do that than by taking a mortal lover home to meet the family? It's a good thing Darcy's a decent actress.
1. Chapter 1

Darcy leaned her chin into her hand, studying the man before her. She'd liked to imagine he squirmed under her gaze, but she knew him too well to think that about him. "And what's in it for me?" She asked when he only continued to stand, arms crossed.

"You go to Asgard," he answered, as if the fact had escaped her notice when he'd first told her of his plan.

"No." Darcy held up her hand and counted off on her fingers. "One, you are asking me to turn in vacation time, which news flash, I don't get a lot of and was really hoping to save and stay the holidays through New Years. Two, that means I'd be giving up a really awesome party with high school friends-"

Loki scoffed and waved a hand in dismissal. "I assure you no Midgardian festival would compare to-"

"THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A COUPLE YEARS," Darcy continued over his interruption. "Sentiment might not be your thing, but I happen to be looking forward to seeing them again. Three, I get sick on the tilt-a-whirl. Your space travel rainbow bridge? Not looking like a lot of fun. Four, I'd have to pretend to be dating you, and that's taking on a whole lot of judgment from people I see everyday. And I'm assuming this whole deal would be a no take backs thing, so that's something that I'll have to deal with for a heck of a long time. Five, in this plan you're expecting me to lie to Jane. Six, I've never said I wanted to go to Asgard in the first place. So, yeah, no. That isn't going to cut it, mister. What's in it for me?" This time Loki did look shaken. Or perhaps pissed off. Maybe it was pointing out the reputation-ruining thing. Darcy turned back to her work with a huff. "Didn't think so."

"I would owe you," He said at last. It sounded as if it pained him to say it. "I am a god, with powers you-"

"You are really arrogant," Darcy said in response. He shut his mouth, though it looked as if he wanted to say a few things he was sure wouldn't change her mind. Still. She tapped her fingers against the desk. "But you can back up at least half of that." She continued on quickly before he decided smiting would be more satisfying than her help, "so tell you what. Six favors, for the six reasons I just listed. ANY six favors. And if you fall back on any one of them, I tase you AND make sure everyone knows you bribed me into lying about it." She held out a hand.

"Five." Loki stated, "Your last argument was merely stating desire for such a trip was never voiced. You never said you did _not_ wish to visit Asgard."

"Five and you get Fury to count this as work and not vacation." She countered.

The grin that grew over Loki's face almost had he reconsidering her offer, but her took her hand in his before she could say any more about it. Slowly he lifted her hand to his lips and gave it a not-quite kiss. "The deal is struck, my pet."

"And you are not calling me that!"

Laughter echoed in the space he had just been. It was her only answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki's arm shifted from under her hands, and for a moment Darcy felt a flash of anger. After all, _he_ was the reason she felt light headed and about to revisit her breakfast all over the back of Thor's cape. Then his hand came to rest on her shoulder and Loki was urging her to a halt just outside the golden dome. It didn't take all that much urging.

"We will catch you up," Loki said. "Darcy feels poorly."

Rather than having the pair leading continue, his words only had Jane rushing back. "No, I'm fine," Darcy said to her worrying. "Just a little sea sick. Car sick. Bridge sick. Whatever." She sat heavily, ignoring Mr. Intimidating Bridge Guard who might have been giving her a look. Or maybe that was his face. Jane and Loki knelt with her, while Thor hovered in the background both worried and eager to continue. With all the eyes on her, Darcy swallowed thickly and decided it was probably time to play her part. She leaned her head against Loki's shoulder. She was surprised he didn't stiffen at the contact, but then again he _would_ be a brilliant actor. Actually, the leather and bits of metal were cool and felt nice in her current nauseous state.

Loki lifted a hand and pressed two fingers to her forehead. The spinning feeling faded slowly, reducing the urge to upchuck onto the shifting colors below her butt. He brushed her hair from her face as he removed his hand - tucking the curls gently behind her ear.

"Better?" The concern in his voice might have been real enough. She could hardly play at being madly in love if she couldn't do much more than sit there feeling miserable.

"Much. Not eager for a repeat, but I think I'm alright." She leaned forward and kissed his nose, and caught the frown he was quick to hide. "Thanks, babe."

Loki stood swiftly, offering her a hand up. "Come. Mother and Father will be waiting." Their was a grit to his teeth when he named his parents that made Darcy fiercely glad this whole thing was just pretend. Loki had serious issues. That as far as she could tell tended to end in explosions.

She let him pull her to her feet, then almost dropped back down when she saw Thor lifting Jane onto a huge - emphasis on extremely freakin huge - horse. "Ah… no one mentioned horses."

Loki swung into his own saddle, and at least his horse was slightly smaller than Thor's. "Afraid I'll let you fall?" There was a mocking note, or maybe dangerous amusement, to the words. And Darcy wasn't fooled, because he totally would let her fall. If he didn't need her.

"No." Darcy approached the animal cautiously. "Just… the biggest animal I've ever been this close to was a golden retriever."

Loki leaned down and lifted her onto the horse as easily as he'd pulled her to her feet. "Then consider this a learning experience." His voice was a bit sharper, now that Thor had moved ahead, and Darcy might have smacked him if she hadn't needed to grab onto him when the horse leapt forward.


	3. Chapter 3

Darcy was once again clinging to Loki's arm as the made their way through the palace. This time it was as much an attempt not to be left behind as she tried to look at everything at once as it was to look like a couple. She might not have wanted to come here in the first place, but she hadn't known Asgard was this pretty either. It was all sparkling and glittering and- "Is that building floating?"

Loki didn't even turn to the window she pointed through. "Yes."

"You have floating buildings?" Darcy tugged him a little closer.

"Darcy, people are waiting."

"Don't tell me you don't like to make an entrance," she said with an exaggerated eye roll. "I've never seen an entire building that could float before." She was halfway to the window when Loki planted his feet and she was unable to pull him further.

"I will show you all of Asgard, _my pet_, but at this moment we are expected." There was that phrase again, and the god was ALL up in her personal space.

She was aware of Thor's laughter and Jane's vague sounds of distress – she'd been worried when Darcy had announced she and Loki had been hiding a secret relationship. It was obviously a little hard to believe – for good reason since it was a complete lie. But mostly she was aware of the way Loki was stroking her cheek. She took his hand, lacing their fingers together to free her face. She put as much sticky sweetness into her voice as she could manage when she asked, "Tomorrow?"

"Perhaps," he said, evading the question. At least he got the message and backed out of her face a bit. Darcy found herself pulled along, hand once again tucked in Loki's elbow.

Darcy was quiet the rest of the walk down the long corridors, but just as wide-eyed. Still trying to take everything in, she almost missed that the group had halted. Thor had put his big hand over Jane's, smiled in reassurance, and stepped through the large doorway. Loki paused, watching as Thor made his entrance. Darcy thought Jane seemed small and nervous. With the size of the crowd it was not terribly difficult to feel the same. So when Loki stepped forward Darcy hesitated. The crowd had gone quiet with Loki's arrival. And not in awe or respect.

That just made it worse.

Loki gave her a gentle smile and cupped her chin. To all appearance he kissed the top of her head to assure her all would be well. But Darcy knew better if only because she was the only one to hear the words he hissed into her hair.

"You will keep your end of the bargain."

Darcy nodded; he suddenly seemed a lot more threatening than the room full of gods. With a deep breath she followed Loki towards the large throne Thor had knelt before. When they stopped beside the god of thunder, Darcy copied Jane. Loki, when he lowered himself to one knee, was all but shaking with tension.

"My sons," Odin spoke, and Loki all but flinched. "It is good to see you return. I, and all of Asgard, are honored to welcome you home and to offer welcome to those you have brought to present before us."

Darcy reached out and settled one of her hands over his as the all father offered a formal greeting. Loki glanced at her with narrowed eyes, but the woman beside the giant golden chair looked absolutely pleased as punch.


	4. Chapter 4

Loki dropped her arm the second the door shut behind them. Darcy nearly laughed at his eagerness to be done with touching her. Instead, she looked around the room. It was large, with the same pale cream and gold architecture of the rest of the city and one wall open to a balcony blocked only by sheer curtains that made it seem larger still. It was also cluttered. The deep browns of mountains of leather books battled the intended green and gold color scheme for dominance of the room. Darcy couldn't say with any certainty which side was winning that battle.

"Is this your room?" She asked, picking up a book with hand written runes on the cover. Funny, if she'd thought about it at all she'd have expected his room to be both immaculate and darkly gloomy. "You do know they do make shelves for these, don't you?"

"We have an hour before we'll be expected at the feast." He said, not bothering to answer her questions. He snapped the book from her hand and placed it back on its stack. "You'll find more suitable attire on the bed."

"Bu-" Darcy couldn't even complete the word before he had turned and passed through doors off the side opposite the large bed. They slammed behind him with a sound that had her ears ringing.

"Well somebody's just a pleasant ball of sunshine today," she muttered. She turned to the bed, not at all surprised that the sheets were a deep green and that a handful of books and parchments were scattered across the surface. There was also a dress laid out on the pale fur blanket, still green but a much lighter shade that reminded her of mint chocolate chip ice cream. "And I don't suppose I could have gotten something nice before the entirety of Asgard was staring at me. Nope. Just me and my haven't-had-time-to-wash-in-a-week walmart jeans. I'm sure that made a great first impression." She sighed, wondering if it was safe to change or if Loki would come storming back when she was half done. Probably she had time, she thought. He'd all but told her to change after all. And he was likely going to be locked in… was it a bathroom? Closet? Well, likely to be out of her hair until he absolutely had to come back, anyways. Probably brooding. Darcy rolled her eyes at that thought and pulled her sweater up over her head and shimmied out of her jeans.

The dress slid on easily enough, but she was at a loss for how to do up the fastenings along the side. They were, quite literally, alien. Well, Loki would just have to help when he came back. She sat on the bed, wondering if she should call him. Or snoop. How often did a girl get to snoop in a god's bedroom.

Of course, with the mood he was in he'd probably turn her into a frog if he caught her snooping. Deal or no deal. And seriously? Asgard had space travel and hadn't mastered the bookshelf?

Not that she really blamed him for the mood, she thought as she pulled her brain back onto a more productive track. The whole ceremony thing had been uncomfortable enough to make _her_ snappy. And she'd been _relieved_ with the way Oden had been a bit dismissive of her. She doubted Loki felt the same way.

Damn it. She wasn't supposed to start empathizing with the guy. He was still a creep. And only a semi reformed villain. And he tried to blow up her internship with a giant robot. And tried to enslave her species. And he was still kind of a jerk.

But Darcy was one of the good guys, or tried to be. And that meant being nice when someone was upset. Even when that someone was an arrogant, snarky, sort-of-ex super villain. Besides, he was Thor's brother and they'd… kinda made up.

Mind made up, she knocked on the doors he'd vanished through. When no answer came, she took a deep breath. "Loki?" She waited a moment before calling out again, louder. "Loki? Are you ok?"

"Why would you think otherwise?" His voice was as angry as it had been when he left.

"I just…. wanted to check." She winced. The whole idea was probably stupid. He'd not shown any indication that he wanted her to be nice to him, after all. Still.

"Loki?"

"WHAT?"

The all-but-snarl broke her nerve and made her stutter the first excuse that she thought of. "I… I don't know how to do up the dress." There was a bang, followed by what she could only interpret as muffled cursing. And then, of its own accord, the dress began to fasten itself. Darcy blinked. Well. That part was less embarrassing than expected.

"Cool. Thanks." She turned, deciding that she'd take in the view from the balcony and leave him to sulk. "That was actually really cool," she called back over her shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

"You were not kidding when you said it was a feast." Darcy commented as he pulled out a chair and gestured her to sit. The table was piled high with food, half of which she couldn't identify. Darcy was a bit glad she'd never been one to diet. Despite the rainbow roller coaster she was starving.

"Did you think I was?"

"It's a phrase. I just assumed it was Asgard talk for dinner or something." She was a little surprised when he slid her chair forward again before taking his own seat. But then, most people probably didn't expect super villains to act like old timey gentlemen. The conversation around them had not slowed, and Loki made no effort to either join or to eat. Darcy waited a moment, before deciding to copy everyone else and just serve herself from the nearest plate. It happened to be stacked high with large rolls that were, she discovered with the first bite, filled with meat and sauce. She thought she'd contained the sound of delight that wanted to escape her throat. But the way Loki turned made her sure she'd not been entirely successful.

"Enjoying yourself, _my pet_?"

She would have glared at him but it might have given the deception away. And the mouth full of food made it difficult anyways. Instead she exaggerated her smile and held the roll out to him. "God yes. Want some?"

She expected him to take it, instead he leaned forward and licked a spot of sauce from her thumb before taking a bite. He said nothing but the look he gave her made her reconsider that she'd mocked romance novels for calling a gaze heated. It made her heart race a bit in panic, and she immediately turned and plucked her goblet from its place – using drinking as an excuse not to face him for a moment. A long moment, she decided as she drained the cup.

No one, when she put down the cup, seemed to have noticed the interaction. Loki himself had draped an arm over the back of her chair was holding his own goblet, sipping only occasionally. For all appearances he seemed to be listening to the talk between Thor and his friends. The group was recounting past adventures to Jane, the tales likely exaggerated and told with much laughter. Darcy turned her attention to studying the huge room. Across the hall, the queen caught her gaze with a smile. Nervous, Darcy smiled back before turning back to listen to Thor's conversation. The next hour or more was nice, eating and taking log drinks from her ever-refilling cup each time Loki turned to her. If only to avoid a repeat of the earlier incident.

But she was also starting to notice something. Despite appearing in several of the tales, Loki never offered contribution to the telling. Nor did he laugh with the rest. Despite the amazing food and the booze – Darcy was well aware that she would regret using the drink to cover her embarrassment – the whole thing felt kind of like her senior prom. The outsider kids sitting in the back nursing punch while the popular kids danced and joked and fawned over the prom king and queen. And, she realized, they were both there because they felt they had to be. It was too bad they couldn't cut to go roller blading the way she had back then. Darcy even had another fancy dress to ruin getting it caught between the wheels.

Or could they? Darcy looked at her drink. She was on perhaps her third cup by that point and was feeling more than a little light headed. Perhaps…

She sighed and fell against Loki, who froze in response. "Darcy?" She groaned and suddenly Loki had swooped her up and stood. She heard, muffled by her hair and Loki's chest, Jane and Frigga both ask if she was alright. Loki's chest rumbled a little as he answered – possibly over his shoulder since he was already moving. "She's had a bit much to drink. I will look after her." There was a faint protest at that, which made Darcy think Jane had gotten up to follow. But Loki's were the only footsteps she could hear once the doors blocked the noise of the crowd.

"You can put me down now," Darcy said when she was sure they were alone. Loki paused, but his arms stayed put. "Sorry, you looked like you really wanted to leave the party." She looked up but couldn't translate the look on his face. He started forward again. "Seriously though. I can walk."

"And if we are seen, the act will have been for nothing."

"I got you too, didn't I?" Darcy couldn't help but be a bit proud of herself. Given that being carried was hecka awkward, she didn't feel bad about rubbing it in when he didn't answer. "No, it's cool. You don't have to actually admit it. I already know I'm amazing." Doors closed behind them again and Darcy found herself dumped on the bed. Recovering, she looked around. "Uh… why are we back in your room?"

"Where did you expect to be?" Loki had crossed to the far wall and was trailing a finger along the bookshelf.

"A guest room? Asgard does have those, right? Advanced society and all. Surely you couldn't have missed that invention."

"It is assumed one would not be required, that a woman I brought to-"

"OH HELL NO." Darcy wobbled a little when she shot to her feet. Having too much to drink hadn't been entirely a lie, but at least anger made it easier to think. "That was NOT part of the deal."

"You never asked the specifics when the deal was struck. That was lack of forethought on your part. Do not assume I am any more pleased with the arrangement than you are." He had turned to glare at her as he spoke.

Darcy crossed her arms. "Are you kidding? Dating you is one thing but now people are thinking I'm sleeping with you?! No. That is not a damn foot note you can add to the fine print, Loki."

Loki almost looked like she'd said something amusing. "And what did you expect people to think? Do you have no knowledge at all of the stories told about me?"

"Why the hell would I? And you do _not_ get to play that card, you ass." She threw the nearest thing in reach at his face, a book, though he caught it with ease. "I want a different room!"

"I have no intention of taking advantage while you sleep."

"Completely besides the point."

Loki sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You made a bargain, Darcy. Five favors and your precious holiday time. I have already delivered on one of said promises and I hold you to our agreement. Should you back out now it would not end well. For me, but also for you."

"Is that a threat?"

"How perceptive of you to notice." He waved a hand towards the bed. "That is the best I can offer."

Darcy turned and frowned. The bed had been split down the center by what looked like a fluffy, pillowy wall. Either side was still as large as her full sized mattress at home.

"If the compromise is acceptable and you understand that your virtue is safe," Loki continued, "you will find the wash room through those doors."


	6. Chapter 6

Darcy groaned as the light dragged her out of sleep and into the full-blown headache and dry mouth of a hangover. There was a rustle and tap of something being shifted and set down beside her. And for a blessed moment the light was blocked and a cool hand pressed against her forehead. When it moved away, the light returned without mercy but her headache was almost entirely gone.

Her eyes flew open to see Loki still leaning over her half of the bed. He was only partly dressed in a fresh under tunic and pants and his hair was hanging freely around his shoulders rather than slicked back as it normally was. He looked nice, almost hot, Darcy thought. Then she winced at the route her mind was taking. But it _was_ first thing in the morning and he _had_ just cured her hangover. That she was inclined to think good things about him at the moment was forgivable.

"I like the Aragorn hair," was what came out of her mouth when she opened it to thank him.

Loki frowned and stood. "Is it a midgardian trait to babble about incomprehensible topics so frequently?"

"Nope. That's a Darcy super special talent. It might even be a super power." Darcy sat, running fingers through her own hair just to make sure it wasn't a nest. "But I do mean that. It makes you look… less supervillainy. Also, thanks for the headache cure."

"It would cause question if I did not cure your ills when it is within my power to do so." Loki was shrugging a heavier leather vesty bit over his tunic as he spoke.

"And here I thought you were being sweet." Darcy slid from the bed to find her own clothes. She only then noticed the books on the bedside table had been moved to accommodate a glass of water. Which would have been the noise she heard earlier. She downed the drink as she searched. After all, if he'd gone through the trouble of making her feel better it probably wasn't poisoned.

"A foolish thought. You will find fresh clothing in the washroom."

She left Loki to his own morning routine and hurried into the large marble room. She was quick about washing her face and pulling on the dress left for her. She wondered if she'd get to wear anything besides green on this trip. Or pants. Surely she could at least manage some pants. She could pass today, but tomorrow she'd need either pants or a shaving kit. At least this dress was a lot simpler than the other and she didn't need to ask for help.

She assumed the brush was his, but it was the only one she saw and she had to tame her hair somehow. She paused in the mirror. She didn't have her makeup, not that she wore it all the time, but being surrounded by gods…

She supposed she should have questioned when Loki said she had no need to pack anything. God of lies. Lying liar with pants on fire. Or maybe just ignorant of all the things girls were used to.

Satisfied she was as good as she'd get, Darcy poked her head out. Loki swept past and she took a second to mourn the loss of the fluffy hairstyle as he shut the washroom door behind him.

A tray had been set out, holding a bun similar to the one she'd eaten the night before and what smelled like juice. Loki's command to eat echoed through the door and Darcy didn't hesitate. Much. "Do you want any?"

"Eat."

"Yeah, but do you eat? At all? Or not where people can see? What?"

"Eat, Darcy."

She stuck her tongue out at the door, but it would be a shame to waste the breakfast. By the time Loki emerged the plate was empty and she felt much more human.

The library was amazing – beautiful and at least twice the size of the magical Beauty and the Beast scene. And Darcy might have been fonder of tech, but a book on a rainy afternoon was still a sure way to put her in a good mood. Even so, her fascination with the place had lasted only for the first half hour. After all, there was only so much you could do in a library where none of the books where in a language you could read.

And only so long that you could play angry birds on your phone when there was no way to recharge it.

"What happened to showing me all of Asgard?" She asked once he'd released her hand once again. He'd been quick to lace their fingers whenever someone entered the room. But quicker to release them once they were alone again. Loki turned a page, pointedly ignoring the comment. "None of these books are even in English. Do you really expect me to just sit here and watch you read for the next few days?"

She contemplated punching him when he continued to ignore her. She'd probably hurt her hand more than him, though. "Well no wonder you had to get a pretend date," she muttered instead.

Loki snapped the book closed, mouth open, when Thor's voice called from the hall and cut off whatever remark he'd been about to make.

"Brother! So this is where you have been hiding."

"It's hardly hiding, as you knew precisely where to find me." Loki let the book fall open across his knees once more.

"Come and join us."

Darcy could see the refusal coming, and decided that no, enough was enough. "Actually, we were just talking about going maybe getting some lunch." She made a show of taking Loki's hand to distract from the scowl she had no doubt had crossed his face.


	7. Chapter 7

"And then," Volstagg said with a sweeping hand gesture that waved something larger than a turkey leg over Sif's head, "Thor fought through the warriors of Nornheim. There were a hundred, perhaps more, but _we_ did not know fear."

Darcy glanced from Jane, and the really amazing sandwich of how-is-the-food-here-so-good, to glance up at Loki. He had a scowl on his face that said he was listening despite the book he seemed to be reading. It also said that he disagreed with this version of events. Interesting. Darcy had assumed the story had been exaggerated, either from habit or maybe for Jane's benefit. But Loki looked seriously pissed.

She set down her plate and leaned back. With her knees drawn up as they were and her head so close to his shoulder, she was pretty sure it looked like cuddling. Loki had turned to blink at her when she moved.

"So how did it really happen?" she stage whispered.

The room fell quiet and she watched Loki's eyes dart to the others before he lifted his book. "I am not the one reciting old tales."

"No but you were making the face."

"Dear lady, surely you do not doubt our tale." Volstagg looked offended, and Darcy sighed. He'd been a lot nicer than pretty much everyone but Jane and Thor, but she was genuinely curious now.

"Fine. Hundreds of warriors. Norhelm-"

"Nornheim," Loki corrected, his nose still buried in what he was obviously only pretending to read.

Slowly the story resumed with the daring and heroic escape. Darcy settled back, her head on Loki's shoulder for real this time. She wondered if he'd get sore from sitting so stiffly or if his alien-god-ness meant he was immune to that kind of thing. "Well?" This time her voice was really pitched to avoid being overheard.

"Why so interested?"

"I'm curious. And obviously not a cat so…" she shrugged.

"What do cats have to do with Nornheim?"

Darcy huffed and crossed her arms.

Loki grinned at that, and Darcy wasn't sure if it was an act or she should be worried or if it actually looked a little attractive. "I veiled us in smoke and hid our escape," he answered. "There may have been a hundred warriors, but between the six of us I doubt we actually fought even fifteen." He was watching her expression as if waiting for something as he finished.

"Cool." Obviously that hadn't been the reaction he expected, and Darcy hastily continued, "I mean, that seems really smart." She turned back to the group then, or tried to, but he was still giving her an odd look. She raised a hand to her forehead. "What? I haven't sprouted a third eye or something, have I? What's with the staring?"

"Nothing." He turned back to his book, but at least when she settled back as the next tale of adventure began his posture didn't make her shoulders ache in sympathy.


	8. Chapter 8

"_Please_ tell me we aren't hiding out in the library again," Darcy said as she followed Loki down the hall. "Because my phone is completely dead and I'm a little worried about what I'd have to resort to for entertainment."

"Never fear."

He was dressed differently, Darcy noted. Not that she'd seen him lounge around in sweat pants, but yesterday he'd seemed to be in what amounted to Asgardian 'lazy house day' clothes. Or at least that had been her best guess. So maybe there _was_ some hope she wouldn't be bored out of her mind after all. And hey, at least she had proper pants today. Maybe Loki would even let her keep these – they made her butt look freakin awesome.

Loki distracted her from wondering if there was a god of fashion and amazing pants hidden somewhere by tucking her hand around his arm. As they rounded the next corner, she could see why. The hall opened into a courtyard that even this early was pretty busy. She pressed close as Loki lead her through to a low building on the other side.

The smell of hay hit her a few feet from the wide doorway and she slowed to a stop.

"Are there horses involved in your plans? Cause I'm still pretty ify on the whole riding giant animals thing."

Loki turned, ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead. There was a low hum of whispers starting behind her. "You are completely safe with me, Darcy."

Damn but he was a good actor. The blush on her face wasn't even fake and that was just embarrassing. She let him draw her into the barn without further protest.

Scratch that. Barns were messy poop smelling things. This was a freaking palace for horses. And a couple goats, too, she saw. Loki nodded at the servant who minded the stables and the man rushed off.

Darcy wandered over to the goats, easily the least intimidating of the animal residents.

"They will ruin your sleeves if you aren't careful," Loki warned.

She paused and turned, but he didn't seem to be paying much attention to, or even looking at, her. He was rubbing the nose of the biggest freaking horse she'd ever seen. It made the giant thing Thor had ridden the other day look like a My Little Pony. And he extra legs like some kind of giant spider horse. Darcy decided that sleeve-eating goats were a lot friendlier looking. And they weren't bad, their nibbles were mostly lip without teeth and the way they all tried to jump into her hand for attention reminded her of dogs.

The clopping of hooves finally made her turn. The man who had left was leading the horse they'd ridden when they arrived in Asgard. It was already saddled, which Darcy took to mean the trip hadn't been just to play petting zoo.

Loki gave the horse-zilla a final pat and took the reins from the man, then held out a hand to Darcy. She didn't really have much of a choice. But she was going to think of really good favors in return for putting up with this. Maybe she'd make him pay off her student loans or something.

She was in the saddle before she could comment. Loki's arms were solid on either side of her, but the ground was way too far away. And she couldn't seem to figure out what to hold on to. It wasn't a cowboy kind of saddle with a convenient handhold, and she was scared that if she held onto the animal's mane she'd pull and get bucked off.

"Why don't horses have handlebars?" She settled for taking hold of Loki's arms. Partially because it felt more solid than anything else, and partially because if he was going to laugh at her he was going down with her when she inevitably fell.

They took a street leading away from the palace, and for a while it winded through narrow alleys and Darcy couldn't see much of anything beyond the pale walls on either side. Then they broke into bright daylight and Darcy could see the rainbow bridge stretching out across the water. Heights and horses momentarily forgotten, Darcy leaned forward.

"Woah."

"I did say I would show you Asgard." Loki had one hand controlling the reigns, the other on her shoulder to steady her. Which was good, since she teetered a bit when she tried to turn to face him.

"Seriously? That's what all this was about?"

"It's quite a ways to go on foot," he said almost defensively.

"No, I just meant…" she hesitated, not really sure what she'd meant. "I was just kinda surprised you'd do that."

"I see. Glad to know you trust me to keep my word," he deadpanned.

"Was that sarcasm? That was!" Darcy grinned a little. "You know, if you could get past the 'kneel before me' and world domination crap, you're actually not half bad."

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"Oh, no, that was a 'thank you'."


	9. Chapter 9

"Wait! Stop! Go there! Go there! I want to see that!" Darcy would have fallen for sure without the arm firmly around her middle, but in the last few hours she'd stopped worrying about the height.

"It is nice to see you over your pointless fear," Loki said as he turned to figure out what on earth she was pointing at, "but a certain amount of caution for your balance would not be-"

"Oh just take me to the floating building already." Despite her grumpy tone, she had a huge smile plastered on her face. Asgard was just plain cool. Like fantasy mythological god world meets the very best of every sci-fi ever.

Loki made a show of sighing, but he steered their mount towards the tall structure. He'd been incredibly accommodating all day. Not nice. Not exactly. Darcy was pretty sure he didn't know how to do nice. But compared to the way he'd been rude and dismissive?

Darcy shook her head. She wasn't going to question the turn around when she could be taking advantage instead. She shifted her weight to swing a leg over, then hesitated as she saw their height. "Let me down, I want to see."

Loki helped her slide off the saddle. And she wobbled a little. Ok, no one had mentioned her butt and legs would be that sore from a horseback ride. Ouch. She tottered a few step, aware that the god behind her had dismounted with no apparent pain. Still, she wasn't letting him touch the offended areas to do his magic healing thing. No thank you, she'd rather grit her teeth and deal with it.

She toddled a bit as she hurried to the building. The base was hovering in a slow rotation just above her head, a spoon shaped platform marked the boundary of the walls on the ground. "Is there a pulley system holding it?" She craned her head to try and see the top.

"No." Loki's hand brushed her shoulder for a brief moment, and the pain faded. Well, at least he could do that without actually touching her ass. Nifty.

"Is it magnets? Or like… invisible poles?" She started to stick a hand under the edge and stopped. "It won't fall if something goes under it will it?"

"No."

Darcy waved her hand just a few inches forward. "No, actually, I think I'll just take your word on that."

Loki laughed beside her, and maybe she'd have taken the challenge in the sound if there hadn't been an entire floating building waiting to fall on her.

"So, what is this place?"

"An academy of sorts. It is where those with the talent and interest learn to weave spells and enchantments."

Darcy's jaw dropped. "No way. This is Asgardian Hogwarts?! That is so… can we go inside? Is that allowed?" She held her hands up near her face, bouncing a little in her excitement. "Where is the door, anyways?"

"Ah." Her last question seemed to shake him out of whatever his weird expression had been. "Getting in is the test. Those without the talent and basic skills to work so simple a charm as it takes to enter do not have the aptitude to practice what is taught within." Darcy's shoulders slumped a little. Ok, maybe she was pouting a bit, but really. Alien Hogwarts was right there and there wasn't a way to even take a peek inside.

There was an impatient sound and when she glanced up, it was to see Loki's outstretched hand. He jerked his fingers towards her impatiently. "Did you wish to enter or not?"


	10. Chapter 10

Loki yanked her forward as soon as their fingers met and between one step and the next she found herself in a wide hall. The sudden change left her dizzy, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the rainbow bridge had been and he gave her a moment to lean against the nearest wall. There was no door on the inside either.

"How did you do that?"

"If I went around revealing the secrets it would hardly make for an effective test." Loki didn't notice or didn't care that she stuck her tongue out at that.

"So why does it float?" she asked a moment later. Loki had taken her hand once again as he guided her across the ballroom-sized entryway. "Is that part of the test?" She half expected him to be annoyed at all the questions. Not that she could really help asking or would try if she could. She was a little surprised when he answered as if they were having an actual, honest to goodness conversation.

"It is a necessity for the wards that keep wayward spells contained."

"Wait. So if someone messes up in a big boom sort of way…"

"The mistake would effect no more than this single structure and the safety of Asgard would not suffer." He said it as if was the most reasonable thing in the world.

Darcy laughed. "So asking as the fragile mortal that just came in – that doesn't happen often does it?"

"Fairly often." The twitch in his lips was just enough to be reassuring. Or at least to make Darcy more than hallway sure he'd been joking. She punched his arm lightly with her free hand.

"Oh ha. Very funny." They'd reached the far door by this point, and Darcy blinked as it revealed a corridor of arched doorframes – not the stairs she'd expected from the size of the platform outside. "Holy…" she stopped herself before she said something that led to god puns. "It's bigger on the inside."

Loki gave her a look that clearly said he thought she was mentally slow. "Obviously."

"Yeah, well it figures you don't know anything about the Doctor." The comment was defensive, and as he had with her Hogwarts analogy Loki only ignored the reference he didn't understand.

"Come." The command was unnecessary since he hadn't dropped her hand yet and simply pulled her along to match his pace.

The first few rooms they passed didn't look much like classrooms. Most had a modest stack of books along the wall, others had far less modest mountain ranges of texts. Here, Darcy thought was where Loki's ideas of library organization had been born. None of the rooms has desks or chairs, though a few had tables holding a variety of objects both fantastical and ordinary. Darcy hadn't expected wands and kids shouting spells and jinxes, but she had expected it to look like a school. Halfway down the hall she could here voices from a room ahead. Loki put a finger against her lips before peeking into the room. A moment later and he shifted so she too could see the lesson going on inside.

There were only three children, all standing and younger than she'd expected, or maybe her thoughts on Asgardians being too tall was coloring her judgment. They were watching a man who was merely staring back at them. Then, without warning, the man launched a ball of fire towards the only boy in attendance. Only Loki's finger still resting on her lips kept Darcy quiet. But the boy deflected the attack before she could overly panic. Though, probably not as well as he should have, since one of the girls was beating the flames off the edge of her dress and glaring daggers at him.

"That's… really crazy and dangerous," Darcy said when they'd left that room behind. "They're just kids."

"Shielding spells are vital and basic. A firm understanding –"

"But he was throwing fire at kids!"

Loki shrugged. "The boy survived, did he not? His form was poor, but with practice… what?" He'd caught her look.

"Did teachers throw fireballs at you as a kid? Cause that could explain _so much_."

"Not often." He sounded smug. "I learned to throw them back."

"See the face I'm making and how I don't look at all surprised?"

Loki laughed and for once it didn't sound forced and wasn't at another's expense. "You would be if you knew how such a difference worked," he said at last. "To control the flame enough to give it direction is to manipulate its energy. It is an entirely different form of magic than a simple shielding charm. However similar such a thing might look to an observer."

"Not really." Darcy paused and tugged her hand free to adjust the ponytail that had begun to slip. "I mean, you're stubborn enough that wouldn't matter much."

Loki looked slightly lost at the words. "Thank you," he said after a moment. "That was… kind." He took her hand again before she could puzzle over the emotion he'd let slip. "Come, I don't imagine you came only to see what is taught to novices."


	11. Chapter 11

The school seemed more or less empty as they walked down the halls of the upper floors – Darcy had lost count of the stairs they'd both climbed and descended. She was infinitely glad that she'd not been required to learn her way around. The maze like twists didn't seem to bother Loki in the least, but then he'd probably spent a good portion of his childhood here. And the things she'd seen!

In one of the rooms a young woman had been in the process of summoning a small mouse like creature on the floor. With a grin, Loki had waved a hand and summoned a huge serpent of his own that had proceeded to win a brief battle with the rodent. The apprentice's frustrated screaming had followed them as Darcy was dragged away at top speed.

"That," she scolded as she caught her breath, "was mean."

"Not at all," Loki laughed. "It is very nearly my duty to make things difficult for those learning here. It's simply how these things work."

"So, what, it's super competitive or something?"

"If you wish to phrase it so mildly, then yes." He lead the way to another series of rooms, these connected without halls between and filled to the point of ridiculousness with yet more books. She had to weave her way around stacks and overburdened tables. The last held a spiral stair leading down. "It is even more so beyond these walls, of course. Asgard has little respect for 'tricks' and the like and positions of any worthiness are brutally sought and defended. Those that seek learning further than the basics and control seek to prove themselves early."

"Well, that seems dumb." They'd paused a moment on a balcony, and Darcy remembered suddenly that the entire building was turning. She hadn't felt the movement from inside, but here it was noticeable. The entire city was passing slowly below. "I mean, Harry Potter wasn't going to put down his wand and go after Voldermort with a sword. I mean, Neville did that with the snake, but it was a magic sword and..." her rant was going entirely over Loki's head. "My point is that it's stupid not to appreciate it when people can do things that cool and flipping useful."

"Many think otherwise."

"Still stupid." She stretched, realized as the tower turned towards the setting sun that they'd been out all day. "But you know what? I'm way too hungry for a debate right now. Any chance there's dinner waiting somewhere?"

Loki held out his hand once again. "Have you met my brother and his red bearded friend? There is always a meal waiting somewhere."


	12. Chapter 12

"Is this the way we came?" Darcy's question echoed in what looked like and abandoned ballroom. The floor and empty buffet tables were covered in a thick layer of dust that puffed up behind them as they walked.

"Of course not, the building shifts as it will." He had that teasing grin again. "I'm surprised it has been so kind, considering the forbidden nature of your visit."

"I'm forbidden, am I?" She cocked her head, but he ignored her attempt at… well it wasn't flirting, not really. Even after today she had no interest in getting involved with all the mess _that_ could bring. "So. I gotta ask. Why the sudden personality change? Not saying I'm not grateful, but you've been border lining on nice am I'm a little worried about you."

The question gave Loki pause, but only briefly. "It has been a long while since another has shown genuine interest in my thoughts or stories."

"Oh." Darcy was quiet as she followed him up a set of stairs to find herself back on the main entry hall. Looking back, the steps behind led up rather than down. She was happy for the distraction from the sharing of overly personal information.

Outside again, Loki released her hand. She hadn't even realized he'd still held it until she was free. But if the building was shifting constantly he wouldn't have wished her to wander off.

Neither spoke again until Darcy murmured and embarrassed thank you as he lifted her from their mount and onto the stable floor. Loki turned immediately and paced to the giant beast who'd held his attention earlier. It was Darcy who handed their horse off to the man who hurried forward. As the stable guy left, she wondered if Loki was regretting his earlier honesty the way she was regretting her question. The awkward was so thick she was choking. Swallowing it back, she followed him to the stall.

The horse's head was hanging over the gate, his nose pressed into Loki's hands. At Darcy's approach he stopped his eager wiggling to stare at her. She could hear Loki whisper something in another language that caught the stallion's attention briefly. Wondering about her own sanity, she held out her hand to be sniffed.

The horse gave her a look and stretched out his neck. He took a huge mouthful of her hair and let it fall back instantly with a wet smack. Darcy squealed over Loki's laughter.

"Ugh ugh ugh spit gross."

"That," Loki said, putting a hand under the animal's chin to command full attention, "Was not kind. Amusing, but not kind."

The horse snorted. He clearly felt amusement was the greater virtue.

"We will detour and clean up before dinner." Loki offered his arm easily, the earlier tension forgotten. Not that Darcy felt very grateful. It was hard to feel anything other than slimed at that moment.


	13. Chapter 13

The feast hall was nearly as crowded as the first night; the celebration of the princes' return would apparently last through the visit despite both eating privately the day before. They had only just entered when Loki leaned down to her ear. "Take our seats." He was off before she could protest, winding his way through the throng of feast goers. Darcy watched him stop at the raised table to speak with his mother. The queen spotted her watching and gave her another of those bright smiles that made her feel slightly guilty.

Turning away, she spotted Jane amidst several empty seats. Relieved, Darcy made for the vacant space beside her boss and fellow earthling. She collapsed with a thump. "Looks like we've been abandoned for family time." Thor was, at the moment, having his own conversation with Odin.

"We're here for such a short visit. It makes sense they'd want a chance to speak."

"True." Darcy was filling her plate as they spoke. "How was your second day in Asgard?"

And Jane gushed, mostly over all the _science_ while Darcy stuffed food into her face. When she finally wound down, it was Darcy's turn.

"I went to Hogwarts," she announced during one of Jane's pauses for breath.

"I'm pretty sure those books are still fiction." Jane's voice was skeptical.

"Shun the nonbeliever. I can't believe you're on a magical alien god planet and somehow still such a muggle."

"Ok. So you went to Hogwarts."

"Well, the alien god equivalent anyways. Did you know Loki's teachers threw fireballs at him?"

"That doesn't seem safe."

Darcy shrugged. "Anyways, it was awesome. I mean, I have this really strong urge to take the dewey decimal system to the place, but still crazy amounts of awesome. It spins. And the rooms move around at random."

"Darcy, that's completely impossible."

"Says you." She popped a neon orange grape thing into her mouth. It tasted like kiwi banana. And toast. How the flip does fruit taste like toast?

"So I was wondering," Jane began, "when we get back, we should all go out together."

"Jane, we already go out together. Sometimes it's the only way I'm sure you eat things besides poptarts and cereal. "

She laughed. "I meant the four of us. Like a double date."

"Oh." Darcy glanced up at Loki and his mother. She hadn't thought about what they would do when they got back. But then, if they just stopped talking to each other it would look pretty suspicious. "I don't know. Loki and Thor are still a bit… rocky."

"All the more reason why we should? This trip is going well, and we'll be there to make sure the conversation doesn't go anywhere difficult. They can relax a bit and get to know each other again." Jane leaned in a little closer. "And I know it would mean a lot to Thor."

Darcy sighed. "I'll see if I can talk Loki into it, but I make no promises." And if Loki killed her for making such a bad suggestion, well, then seeing Jane's disappointment wouldn't be her problem anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

"I have another question." It was much later and Darcy was sitting on the edge of Loki's desk as he got ready for bed on the other side of the bathroom door.

"And?" He sounded amused. "You have not reigned in curiosity before this."

"What happens when we get back to Earth?" When he didn't answer immediately, she went on. "I mean, it'll be obvious if we don't speak or…"

The door swung open and Loki took it's place against the frame. "We will play this out. After a time we part on fair terms, convenient reasons for which will no doubt reveal themselves."

"And how long did you have in mind?" Darcy didn't mind the thought perhaps as much as she should, but that was now. If someone she could actually have a romance with came along? Well, she wasn't signing on for years of this.

Loki considered. "I am in your debt for five tasks you have yet to name. When such tasks are completed, we will call this charade to its end."

It was disconcerting that he laid it all on her when he knew the game better. But this was better than a set amount of time. She hadn't intended to rush her choices, because it figured that the opportunity to call in favors wouldn't come more than once. And you don't waste debts from actual gods without thinking it through. But at the same time, the bargain gave her an easy way out. Instantly, if she needed it. She nodded. "Fair enough."

Loki moved to his walled of half of the bed.

"So. Now that that's settled. Jane invited us for a double date."

Loki's steps halted. "A what?"

"You know. Dinner and a movie. Jane and Thor being sappy and romantic. You and I pretending to be sappy and romantic. Fury giving disapproving stares when he finds out we all ditched the security they always have tailing you." She scooted a little further back, though it wasn't much help in escaping Loki's glare. "You can't blame me, this whole relationship was your idea."

"And you accepted."

"I only said I would talk to you. Now I have and you are free to go tell her no and not smite me or anything."

"Smiting you would be counter productive to my goals." He rubbed his forehead. "No. It… will be a useful show of reform."

"Wait, you're saying yes?"

"I am saying it is something I will consider." He shook his head and continued to the bed. After a moment, Darcy followed, flopping onto her side.

"Good night, Prince Charming."

After a momentary confused silence the candles flickered out. "Sleep well, my pet."


	15. Chapter 15

Breakfast was waiting as soon as she woke, but that wasn't the first thing her brain processed. She pushed herself up and threw her arms over the squishy pillow barrier down the center of the bed. "You're actually eating."

"Is it so surprising?"

"Yes." She grinned when he looked up. "Sorry, it's too early for a decent snappy comeback." She picked out a fruit from the bowl he held out. "What's the plan for today?"

"I thought-" Loki glanced up at the knock on the door. With a wave of his hand, it swung open and startled the girl who'd interrupted breakfast. In the same moment, Darcy fell as the pillow wall vanished from under her.

"My apologies for the disturbance," the girl said with a bow, "but my lady requests to speak with the Lady Darcy." She fidgeted a little under the stares until Loki answered.

"Of course." He made a show of standing and crossing to press a kiss to Darcy's forehead. "I will come to fetch you at midday. And if you wish to find me sooner I will be waiting in the library. Any you might ask could point the way for you."

"But I'm not even," Darcy stopped, because she was dressed. More than that, he hair was pulled back in a loose braid. She tried not to think too hard on how creepy that was as Loki led her too the doorway.

"This way, my lady." The girl motioned down the hallway, and after a hesitation, Darcy followed.

"It's just Darcy, really," she said mostly to cover her own nerves. "All the formal stuff is a bit weird to me."

"You are not accustomed to titles in your home?" The question was hesitant.

"Ha. You kidding? I'm just an intern turned science lab gopher."

"Gopher?"

"Go for this, go for that, type up the report, make sure the coffee stays stocked and that Jane remembers to socialize and eat real food once and a while?"

He guide was silent for a while before asking, voice slightly in awe. "You are a handmaiden?" There was a light in the girl's eyes that suggested scandal and a notion of hopeful rumors. Darcy swallowed thickly and wondered if she should have kept her mouth shut.

"Uh… it's more of a gender neutral thing on Ear-Midgard."

"The prince must truly care for you," she continued as if Darcy hadn't spoken. Darcy had the sneaking suspicion that Shakespeare-worthy rumors would be spreading in a matter of hours. Or maybe she'd be cast as an Asgardian Cinderella. Would that make Loki the Prince _and _the fairy godmother? The kid sounded like she was about to swoon. Seriously.

"How romantic it must be. Perhaps someday you might share the tale, my la-Darcy?"

"Sure. Maybe next time I visit." That, at least, was a safe enough promise to make. It wasn't like she'd be doing much interplanetary travel after this.

The girl, Darcy wondered if she was a handmaiden herself, actually clapped her hands in joy. "I shall look forward to hearing it." Darcy offered a smile, glad they had come to a door that seemed to be their destination. The guess was proved right when her guide knocked before pulling it open and announcing her with all the formality that had been lost during the short walk.

The queen looked up from her weaving and offered what must have been the warmest smile in existence. "Welcome, how lovely that we meet at last."


	16. Chapter 16

"No need to be so nervous." Frigga motioned to a seat near hers, and Darcy sat even if she ignore the words and allowed the butterflies to continue the party in her stomach.

"Thor speaks of his beloved with such frequency T felt I knew her already," Frigga had resumed her weaving now even though Darcy felt she still had the goddess's full attention. "But Loki… well my youngest son has always kept his own thoughts close. I hope you don't mind indulging my curiosity."

"I guess not." Darcy wondered just how long it was until she was caught. There was no way she could fake a relationship with Loki's mother. Especially not without the ex-villain's help. And especially not when nerves always made her mouth run too much. "I should warn you I don't have much of a filter between my brain and my mouth."

Frigga laughed. "Then perhaps you are well matched. I often fear Loki censors himself more than he aught."

Darcy considered the way Loki had allowed his part to be written over in the stories told since their arrival and nodded. "I can see that. You kinda have to bug him until he talks."

A girl, younger than the one who'd been sent to fetch her, offered up a tray of drinks. The queen set aside her work once again to lift one of the goblets. "Tell me of yourself, Darcy. And of how you came to meet my sons."

"Jane hit Thor with the van." Frigga blinked, looking confused, and Darcy found herself explaining everything from her decision to take the internship in New Mexico to being hurried out of the country in time for Loki's invasion to Thor's return with Loki in tow.

"And you were forgiving of his actions?" There was more than a little skepticism in her tone.

Darcy said the only thing she could think of to take the queen by surprise. "I punched him the first time we met." Her hand ached in the memory of why mortals shouldn't punch gods. Not even ones that nearly cost you college credit. "But then he was just kind of around a lot and it's just as easy to get four coffees as it is to get three. Eventually he started talking to me." Eventually being only a couple of weeks before the trip and only to bribe her. But she wasn't planning on being that specific. "Then everything just kinda happened," she finished lamely.

Frigga considered and then nodded – a knowing smile on her lips. "It is often the way of such things to grow where they are least expected. Yet Thor tells me he knew nothing any such relationship."

Ah, yeah. Darcy probably should have thought about that one. "You said yourself, Loki's a private person."

"And for your part?"

"People can be really judgmental."

"And you did not want to face such judgment until you were certain of your heart and your standing with my son."

"Yes," Darcy said in a rush. Because that made sense and she could use that.

And you are willing to take such risk now." Frigga was making that face. That cat got the canary, pleased as punch, possibly planning for grandbabies face.

Oh, Darcy was going to the special hell.

There was a knock, as she was trying to figure out exactly what to say to that. Darcy had never been happy about seeing Loki before, but she was making up for it right at the moment. "Am I interrupting?"


	17. Chapter 17

"What did Mother say?" Loki asked as they wandered the halls a few moments later.

"Not a lot." Darcy glanced over at a group of serving girls who were giving her rather huge grins. "Mostly she asked how we met. I told her how I hit you that time."

Loki arched a brow. "Did you?"

"She said we were well matched."

Loki laughed.

"And then she kinda gave me grandbaby eyes."

"Grandbaby eyes?"

Darcy sighed. "You know. When you introduce someone to your parents and they get that look. Like '_at last! Now get to work on the grandchildren I'm not getting younger_.' "

"I doubt my mother was giving you 'grandbaby eyes' of any kind."

"Are you questioning me?" Darcy pulled her hands free to poke him in the side. "Look, mister. You might be a god or alien or whatever, but I happen to be an expert at recognizing grandbaby eyes. _My_ mom started that crap with my high school prom dates, ok. I have way more experience that you do." She took hold of his elbow again. "You should just be glad this whole meet the parents thing isn't going the other way around. We'd be having to name the poor nonexistent things."

"I'll be certain to avoid such a confrontation."

Darcy nodded in agreement, then looked around with curiosity. "This is the way to the stables, isn't it? Are we going somewhere else again today?"

Loki only shrugged. "That entirely depends." He had that look that said he was up to something again. Which really was his normal face. But Darcy couldn't help being slightly worried. And slightly more excited.

Which was much more than slightly worrying.

She pondered that as they came to the stables and the man in charge left to saddle the horse as he had the day before. Only then Loki did something that caught her attention.

The heavy beam across the giant horse's door made a clatter as it hit the floor. The animal bounded through, gave a huge shake, and looked expectantly at Loki, who wound a hand in its mane and said something in that language she didn't understand. Then Loki pulled himself onto the thing's back and held a hand out to her.

"Are you crazy?"

"Someone will have heard that. You'd best be quick."

"No way, that is… really high and no."

"Well, if you want to take the fall for allowing him out," Loki said with a shrug. The horse took a step back and turned as if to leave.

"What? Loki!" She waited all of two more steps before darting forward and reaching up. "You can't just leave me here."

Laughing, Loki reached down and seized her wrist, situating her in front of him even as the horse took off through the streets at an impossible run. Behind them, Darcy could hear the fading shouts of the stable hand.

Quick note: uploads on can no longer be made during the day on weekdays. They will update a few hours after other posting sites when new chapters are ready during the week but at the same time on weekends. I appreciate your understanding.


	18. Chapter 18

"So now that we're horse thieves, what were you planning?" Darcy forced out the question in order to stop thinking about how fast they were moving and how there was absolutely no saddle at all.

"Oh, we're hardly horse thieves. Sliepnir will be back in his stable before nightfall." Loki, at least, sounded completely at easy with the way they'd just leapt over a cart. Darcy screwed her eyes shut.

"Illegal horse borrowers then."

Loki laughed. It was the kind of frenzied sound that matched the wild acceleration. It was mad scientist mixed with a complete disregard for safety. Not that he should be worried. Falling off just then wouldn't be deadly to him at all. "Darcy. Are you not a fan of surprises?"

"Let's recount my recent experiences with you and surprises, shall we?"

"You enjoyed yesterday well enough."

"Yeah, and how many surprises involving you end in explosions?"

"More than you know of, I promise you."

They'd slowed as they came to a field a fair distance from the city, but Darcy wasn't releasing her death grip on his arms until they'd fully stopped. "And see, that's exactly the opposite of reassuring. You need to work on that."

Sliepnir, or whatever the heck horsezilla was named, halted suddenly, making her squeak. "Or perhaps I simple enjoy being unsettling." Loki shot back as he dismounted.

"You've got that down to an art." Darcy waited for him to turn and help her, instead he was walking away. "Uh. A little help here?"

"If you get off, it rather defeats the purpose of riding lessons, doesn't it?" Oh he sounded so sweet and innocent, but Darcy was not fooled.

"Excuse me?"

"It's a useful skill."

"No, driving is a useful skill. Using a taser is a useful skill. Navigating the starbucks menu is a useful skill. This is a scary skill that's completely irrelevant back home."

"Ah." Loki brushed imaginary dust from his sleeves. "But not so irrelevant to a future princess of Asgard."

Darcy glared daggers. "Is that so?"

"Most certainly." He looked decidedly pleased with himself.

"You are an enormous ass."

He only laughed again. "I imagine that is also true."

She sighed, but was effectively trapped. There was no way she was getting down without help or breaking a limb. Or all four. And her head. "Ok, but why horsezilla? Why not tiny ponies? You know. So I don't die."

"Horsezilla?" Loki asked. The horse cocked its head as if it wanted the same explanation. Just how smart was this horse anyhow?

"Godzilla?" When both continued to wait for a further answer she groaned. "Ok. Do yourself a favor and learn pop culture references. That's just sad. Godzilla. He's a giant lizard. Destroyed Tokyo or something. Horsezilla – giant horse?"

Loki lifted an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting he destroy major cities?"

"Not with me riding!" She was slightly hysterical. It was understandable in her current situation. "And no! Destroying cities is bad! Don't destroy any more cities!"

Loki shrugged, and Darcy was acutely aware that he wasn't making promises. This was so over her pay grade.

"Look, you've had your fun but we both know I'm not ending up anything like a princess. So just help me down or_"

A saddle materialized under her with a wave of Loki's hand. "Sliepnir will not throw you, nor will he startle. You are perfectly safe."

Darcy sighed. "You're going to make me sit on the horse until I agree to this, aren't you?"

Loki's grin was answer enough.


End file.
